Thursday, October 29, 2009

Shut Your Mouths!

There’s a new group of humans that I can’t take anymore.

Well, there’s a few…but these people have become more and more evident.

There’s the people at sporting events, sitting in the top row of the upper deck that yell perceptive comments like “Catch it!” or “Run!” to the players below, but they make me laugh.

The people that don’t use their turn signal or just don’t pay attention to signs while driving have always been near the top of that list.

But this group has taken over the top spot of annoyance in the Matt Dumouchelle Top 10 People Who Infuriate Me.

The people who talk during movies.

I don’t mean the people who casually lean over to their companion and ask “why would they do that?”

I mean the people that sit in the back row and bark out their unnecessary comments throughout the show believing they are either helping everyone understand the movie, that they are being funny, or worst of all, they do it just to annoy people.

I went to see “The Stepfather” on Tuesday, and thanks to a young group of about 6 kids who were two rows behind me, not only was I informed that one girl in the movie shouldn’t be going in that room and that the Stepfather was a killer, I also heard about Tina’s upcoming date; whoever Tina is.

Then there’s the guy in the row with us who shouts out “That better not be the way it ends!”…when there was about 20 minutes left. A little heads up for all you movie-goers. The movie ends when the credits start rolling, not when the screen goes dark.

Why do so many people on our planet believe everyone needs to hear, or cares to hear, what they think or what they have to say.

We are such self-involved society sometimes that I know they genuinely think it would enhance our movie experience by shouting out something they thought was funny and disturbing about 30 people – then laughing about it.

I would have been perfectly content to sit through that movie in peace, and not know the guy behind us thought the girl in the movie had a nice rack.

It’s those people that are what’s wrong with the world today.

There should be a theatre employee stationed inside every theatre and those people should be tossed out like old popcorn. I don’t care if they spend 9 dollars for a ticket. So did everyone else. And we didn’t spend pay an extra charge to hear what some 17 year old punk thinks about it.

Again, if you want to ask the person you are next to “where do I know that actor from?” that’s no problem.

But if you think the theatre needs to know that you believe “the neighbour is gonna die next”, then you need to be thrown out.

Oct 29

Sleepy but standing...

-What a great start to what will be a great World Series. Cliff Lee was on fire yesterday, with a pitching performance we haven't seen in years on such a big stage. 10 strikeouts...ZERO walks!  In YANKEE STADIUM!!  Against the YANKEES!  This guy was in Cleveland at the end of July thinking he'd be sinking with the ship because Roy Halladay was supposed to be going to Philly.  Funny how the world works.

-Tonight will be equally exciting with Pedro on the mound.  Though now, maybe this move backfires. You are not only going to play an angry, frustrated Yankee team in their biggest must-win game of the season, but you are also putting a known nemises on the hill to face them.  Trust me, the Yankees remember Pedro. They will be out with their hunting goggles on and I think, will do quite a bit of damage to even this series.

-Unfortunately, I'm not going to see much of the game tonight because I will be at the WFCU Centre to broadcast the Windsor Spitfires vs Owen Sound Attack game for my old friends on 560 CFOS.  It's always a blast for me to call those games with one of my favourite people in the world, Fred Wallace, and get behind the mic and announce hockey.  I love the OHL and I like it more than the NHL sometimes. And how can you not in Windsor.

-Taylor Hall, Ryan Ellis, Greg Nemisz and Cam Fowler are possibly the best four-some in the OHL and all have been, or will be, high NHL picks come draft day.  So if you live in the Ontario Hockey League city, check your calender for when the Spits come rolling into town.  It may be your last chance to see talent like Hall and Ellis without paying $50 a ticket.

-Any suggestions of fun things I could to do for my birthday in December?

Don't hate the player!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Oct 27

Uh oh...I'm slippin already!

-The World Series starts tomorrow and, on paper, it looks like it will be one for the history books. Both teams have their strong pluses, both teams have their worry-some minuses. But the pitching matchups alone will be outstanding.  I'm so glad I'm not an Indians fan for Game 1 - CC vs Lee.  Two guys who, at one point, were #1 starters for the Mistake by the Lake.  Talk about mistakes...they are now facing each other in the WORLD SERIES.  And where are the Indians?  Hiring MANNY ACTA to be their manager!!

-What kind of dirt (or what kind of snacks) did Manny Acta bring to the table to get the job in Cleveland?  Sure they didn't have many options, and it appeared at one point they would even consider bringing Bobby Valentine back from the dead (Japana) to manage their team.  But how do you look your fans and the media in the eye if you're Mark Shapiro and explain that a man who lead his team to back-to-back 100 loss seasons is "the man" to take your team to another level??  Good luck!  Indians finish last in the Central in 2010.

-Speaking of hires...I have no problem bringing Mark McGwire back to baseball...there are a number of reasons why his name should be cleared - but drugs are drugs...he took suppliments - which arent steroids...and those particular suppliments may not have even been on baseball's banned list when he took them. So leave the guy alone.  He is now the poster-boy for what Hall of Fame voters will do to you if you are busted for performance enhancing drugs.  My concern is...does a guy with a .260 career battling average, a wack of home runs and hundreds of intentional walks know how to teach young players how to hit?  What will he do for Colby Rasmus or Brendan Ryan?  I have no problem with the hire on a professional level...but I really question his ability to perform in that position.

-Back to the World Series.  CC vs Lee in Game 1...Pedro at the new Yankee Stadium for Game 2...what a great's one of those series I hope goes seven games so we can see these teams go back and forth for another week.  Baseball has saved the best for last and really does have it's two best teams left when the dust settles.  But who wins?  By home-field advantage alone (which will be HUGE in this series)...I give the crown to the New York Yankees in 7.

-The NBA season begins tonight...some highlights to look forward to?  LeBron + Shaq = entertainment with a capital E...the "new look" Detroit Pistons...can the Hornets and the Magic take their game to the next level...and can Kobe and the Lakers really do it again?...

-And finally (a long one today to make up for lost time)...the Toronto Maple Leafs have won their first game of the year.  They are on pace to win 10.2 games (which they won't - no one could), but Leaf Nation is already setting up the lawnchairs on Bay Street for the parade...RELAX...this team is going to get worse before it gets better...but no one wants to see one of the most historic franchises in sports play that poorly...not even me...


Friday, October 23, 2009

Oct 23

Heading into the weekend!

-Another great MLB playoff game last night...I don't remember a year that had so many intense, down to the last out games like this year.  Craig and I were staying in Leamington last night because we had to do the show in Kingsville today and we ended up in the bar at the Seacliffe Inn watching a good portion of the game.  By the time we looked up from our wings it was 4-0...then without warning (and 2 outs) New York looks like they steal the game and series away.  Angels come back and here is the definition of how tired I was last night...bases loaded, two outs, one run game, Yankees win and they go to the series...AND I FELL ASLEEP! haha...didn't find out what happened until this morning.  I will not be missing Game 6 (which should go New York's way).

-I don't get into Halloween.  I just never really have.  Tomorrow is my attempt to enjoy the "holiday" season and it really should be a good time.  I'm taking the girlfriend, Kim, to Michigan (scary enough) to see Saw VI (that's for me) and go to a Haunted House (that's for her)...that's about all I do for Halloween...and it will be a lot of fun.

-I've decided that every Saturday I will post my picks in the NFL and keep track, just to see if my predictions go along with my alleged knowledge.  So look for Saturday NFL picks...and true results from my predictions.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Oct 22

A little work promo to start off today.

-Rock Mornings with Craig and Matt will be in Kingsville tomorrow to Rock The Block of Jeff Kartye...should be another good time...if you live in Windsor-Essex or Chatham-Kent and want to be entered into Rock The

Now, on to the good stuff.

-Congrats to the Phillies for winning the NLCS.  You have to figure the Yankees will win the AL side and those two teams really do matchup well against each other...I picked the Yankees to win at the beginning so I have to stick with that...but you can never count out the Champs.

-Only issue I have is this...Game 1 of the World Series is next Wednesday in New York or L-A...That's October 28th...if the Yankees win tonight...there will be a 5 day layoff between the end of the LCS and the beginning of the World's a terrible scheduling move and you wonder why people lose interest.  Teams won't know what to do with five days off before the biggest 4-7 games of their year...PLUS it lines up to have a World Series game in NOVEMBER if things go the distance...the next round should begin the day after everything is settled...If the Yanks win today - Game 1 should be moves things along, keeps the interest at a high level and cuts down the drawnout length of the playoffs. Win-Win.

-What a tough year for Oklahoma QB, Sam Bradford.  I enjoy watching the college game more than the NFL, but with all the teams and conferences, it's impossible to follow some times.  I do know this though.  Bradford had a chance to come out of University last year and enter the NFL Draft...he chose not to and has now been dealt two arm injuries and will be shut down early for the rest of the year...his draft status is lower now than it was last year and he still has the option of one more year at OU or going to the pros.  It's wrong to say and parents around the world will hate me for this...but when you get the chance to score millions of dollars in advertising and guarenteed contracts...DROP SCHOOL!!!  It could be your one chance to tell "show me the money!" and take care of everyone you've ever met - including yourself..because you never know what can happen! Guys get signed for 15 million dollar signing bonuses before they even step on the field...and that kind of bling would put Bradford's kids' kids through college.  Now Bradford wears caution tape around his right arm and the payout won't be nearly as big.  When you're retired from the NFL and you're a multi-millionaire...and more importantly...when your only 40 years old...then finish up school...but when you have the chance to "cash in" MUST hit the draft room floor and wait on the classroom.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Oct 21

Let's keep it going!

-MLB needs instant replay.  Did you see the absolutely rediculous non-call last night in the Angels/Yankees game when Robinson Cano and Jorge Posada were tagged out at 3rd - but only one was called out...both were off the bag by a step or two when they were tagged.  A Forest Glade level umpire knows how to make that call!  How about the ball that dropped three feet fair that was called foul and screwed the Twins over in the ALDS?!  Another plain-as-day call missed. Each team should get two replays a game (just like in the NFL).  It should not be allowed to be used in balls and strikes...but plays in the field - yes.

-And for those who believe it will slow down a slow game even more.  Why doesn't baseball use the 20 second rule more.  It's in the books that a pitcher has 20 seconds from the time he gets the ball back to the catcher to when he throws it.  If they don't, a ball is called. Justin Verlander can do it, Roy Halladay can do it...everyone should. These men are being paid millions of dollars...LEARN TO ADJUST.

-NHL Stanley Cup Prediction:  Philadelphia Flyers over Vancouver's on paper (or on screen) taking it back now...Toronto finishes 11th in the Eastern Conference...Detroit finishes 5th and loses in the semi-finals...MVP - Mike Richards.

-Phil Kessel scores 22 goals and 37 assists...59 points this year...Leafs #7 overall pick goes to Boston in the trade...worth it?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

October 20

I've promised myself I will start updating this website daily...even if it's just with random here marks Day 1 of the rest of my life...

-Great playoffs so far in Major League Baseball...the Tigers should be there and would have put up much more of a fight against the Yankees than Minnesota did...I guess they just ran out of steam.

-I'm sticking by my pick of Yankees vs Dodgers in the World Series...but the Phillies really do have a good squad...up and down they can just plain rake and the starters have been fantastic. What did they give up for Cliff Lee again?? And you wonder why the Indians are in a state of "rebuilding".

-Speaking of the Tribe, I love the idea of Travis Fryman managing in Cleveland. He is my all-time favourite Tiger and one of the reasons I loved the guy was he was just a smart player...Smart players make great surprise, not a lot of pitchers are managers. I would become a closer Indians fan the day Travis is introduced to the media.

-Can Toronto Maple Leafs fans please relax! When you start "rebuilding" a team...that means it's going to your money for three years when the Leafs are competitive in the you imagine how much ticket prices will be when they are actually MEANINGFUL games.

-NFL teams I'm buying - AFC - New England, Indianapolis, Pittsburgh...NFC - the Giants, Minnesota, New Orleans, Atlanta.

-NFL teams I'm not buying - AFC - Cincinnati, DENVER...NFC - Dallas, Philadelphia, San Francisco.

Later knuckleheads...

Weird Laws

Craig and I, and apparently the majority of our poll respondents, believe the law which does not allow a truck driver to smoke in his vehicle is ridiculous.

Again, it is a 305 dollar fine if you are ticketed under that law, but it’s a 250 dollar fine to smoke in a car with a minor present.

It does present me with an opportunity to go into the achieves and revive the unexplainable, absurd and always humorous bizarre laws of Canada.

Did you know that in Fort Qu‘Appelle, Quebec it is illegal for a teen to walk downtown main street with his shoes untied?

It is illegal anywhere in Canada to pay for a 26 cent item in all pennies. The limit is 25 cents. If you are paying for your item in nickels, then it’s illegal to pay for it in nickels if it’s over $5. It’s also illegal to pay for something over $10 dollars in all dimes.

In London, it is against the city by-law to allow your grass in your front yard to grow any taller then an inch and a half. If you do, the city will come by and cut it for you then give you a fine for $200.

Quebec law states that all business signs must be in French. If the owner wants English on the sign then the French print has to be twice as large as the English print.

In Nova Scotia a person is not allowed to water their grass when it's raining. Not like someone would do this, but it's against the law in Nova Scotia!

In Cobourg, if you have a water trough in your front yard, it must be filled by 5:00am!

In Guelph, the city is classified as a no pee zone!

In Toronto, Ontario, where I lived, it's illegal to drag a dead horse down Younge St on a Sunday!

In Ottawa, you are not allowed to eat ice cream on Bank St on a Sunday!

In Beaconsfield, it's considered an offense to have more than two colours on your house.

In Oshawa, it's illegal to climb trees!

It is illegal for a man to drink with a woman in an Edmonton beer parlor in Alberta.

It is unlawful to throw snowballs or set off firecrackers within the city of Calgary, without the authorization of the mayor or City Council.

All bicycle riders in Edmonton must signal with the arm before making a turn, and a bicycle rider must keep both hands on the handlebars at all times.

You are not allowed to play a musical instrument in a park in Windsor.

It is against the law to go naked in your own home if you leave the blinds up in Winnipeg.

I’ve never been so glad to be an Ontarian.

Lazy Ass People

Man, we are a lazy society some times.

This week may be a bit more than normal, but I have seen some people do some of the laziest things you can imagine.

So I had to share a few…email me: and tell me what you think is the most lazy things that people do and I will include them in a future World According To.

On Wednesday I was taking the elevator down to the laundry machine on the 7th floor – keep in mind I am on the 20th. A young guy, probably 25 or under got on the elevator on the 12th floor.

He then proceeded to get off the elevator on the 11th floor.

Now to make this even a little more comical for myself, I noticed he wasn’t carrying a big screen TV or one end of a couch or anything like that, oh no, he was carrying, a bag of McDonalds in one hand and a pop in the other. I didn’t expect to see him on a treadmill next to me any time soon.

I also drove past a Tim Horton’s during the middle of the day on Tuesday and had to weave into the other lane because the cars were lined up almost to the street.

Lucky for my wandering eyes, and the red light, I was able to peer through the glass windows at the front of the store and see…NO ONE IN LINE…Enjoy your 20 minute wait!

I also went grocery shopping on Thursday and stood in line with a cart filled to the brim with about 80 dollars worth of food inside.

I was the 7th person in line – and it was the shortest line – so I scooched over to my favourite section of the grocery store and any other department store…the self-checkout. I don’t know if it’s out of laziness or what, but it was completely empty. It couldn’t be possible that we’ve gotten to the point where sliding a barcode across a scanner is too much for us right? I probably pushed through 30 items without breaking a sweat.

And looking back at the line I was in – 2 people had moved forward since.

A few more annoyances I may not have seen this week – but drive me nuts.

Full service gas stations – can we not get out of our cars and pump gas ourselves? Is it now so much easier to have someone come to the window and hold up a credit card and say “fill ‘er up”. I’ve seen people with cars no special than mine in the full service gas bar while self service is wide open. Come on people!

There’s leaving the empty roll of toilet paper on the holder when you’re done, leaving half a drop of milk in the carton so they don’t have to go out and get a new one and the king of all laziness – leaving the TV on whatever station because you can’t find the remote.

Yes we all do lazy things. Who am I to say that I haven’t driven 3 minutes to the convience store, but it is always to buy something – like milk or bread - that I don’t want to carry 10 blocks back to my apartment.

I will share with you the best line I’ve ever heard to describe laziness: Stand straight up and look down. If you can’t see your feet, it might be time to go for a walk.